Unexpected Experiences and The Human's Knee Jerk Responses - Horse Help

Over the past 20+ years of posting online and on social media, there's been a wide array of "key board" behaviors that I've witnessed or experienced firsthand from viewers.

I find it interesting to observe the emotional triggers people have when encountering struggles- such as with technology. Whether unfamiliarity of ever-changing or updated apps, navigating new websites, etc., the act of "learning" or familiarizing oneself with technology can reflect "who" a person really is and how they cope (or don't.) If something goes wrong, unexpectedly occurs, is delayed, etc., one's response can reflect how close under the surface emotional chaos may be "brewing," despite calm and collected exterior behavior.

So how does this relate to our Horsemanship? This post isn't really about technology, but reminding you to take a moment (or a few) to assess your internal response when you are faced with an unfamiliar scenario or a situation that is out of your control. Many of my one-on-one remote horse coaching sessions worldwide address learning the importance of maintaining self-awareness to have real-time emotional regulation when things with the horse "go wrong."

Many people voice that they prefer spending time with animals over humans, but that does not mean that a person is emotionally regulating their thoughts and behaviors. There's often a lack of self-awareness in one's inability to compartmentalize the anger, frustration, or other ranges on their emotional pendulum (in life,) to when they are with their horse. They may outwardly appear physically calm or quiet, but the horse is a wonderful mirror and highly sensitive compared to humans. He immediately reflects the human's mental and emotional state.

Learning to recognize and decipher one's triggers, default pattern or "knee jerk" responses when angered, or frustrated, if they lack patience, jump to judgement, or resort to critique, all directly affect the quality and effectiveness of their communication with their horse.

The effectiveness in the use of an aid- however "mechanically correct" it may be, has a direct correlation to the human's mental and emotional state behind the communication.

One final reminder about emotional regulation... I've heard and seen a lot of folks over the years who talk about how they find peace when with their horse, who is their calm, escape, or outlet from life stresses. I wish more people realized how often they are trauma dumping on an animal, who may be"ill equipped" to handle their emotional chaos or needs.

I see the negative consequences of this a lot- across the board- whether in resistant or tension-filled therapy horses, "spoiled" i.e. now aggressive ones, out-of-control youngsters, recovering rescues, highly "sensitive" i.e. anticipative/reactive/fixated types, etc.

My personal belief is the kindest thing someone can do for a horse, is create a safe (mental and emotional) space for him to function in. Whether it be his living situation or during the interaction... This often takes a shift in one's mindset and a selfless perspective focusing on learning how to support the horse to be successful... rather than prioritizing the human's emotional needs and desires.