Alternative Horsemanship™ the Remote Horse Coach Articles and Advice Blog

Tips for the Insecure, Anxious, Anticipative, or Timid Rider

The timid/unsure rider comes from a place of feeling "surprised" by what the horse does or feeling ineffective towards their horse.

I'm very aware that this time of year can stir up a particular kind of mental static. It’s the inner critic, tallying up the "not yets" and the "I should haves" with your horse.

Let's name it: Horse Guilt. It’s that feeling that you didn't do enough, "fix" enough, ride enough, or progress enough.

Guilt is not a motivator; it is a paralyzer.

Why Short, Flexible Coaching Might Be Exactly What You Need Right Now

The holidays are a beautiful mix of celebration, reflection, and—let’s be honest—stress. Between busy schedules, winter weather, family expectations, and year-end pressure, it’s no surprise that many riders and horse owners feel overwhelmed or stuck this time of year.

But the end of the year also creates new opportunities:
A chance to reset your mindset, refine your goals, and start the new year with clarity and confidence—without locking yourself into long-term coaching commitments.

That’s exactly why I created H-E-L-P, a short-format, easy-access coaching service available through remote horse coaching.

What Is H-E-L-P?

H-E-L-P is a targeted coaching option designed for equine enthusiasts and horse owners who:

Need help fast
Don’t want lengthy coaching programs
Prefer flexible, short-term support
Want expert guidance without pressure, contracts, or subscriptions

It’s the coaching version of “I just need someone to walk me through this right now.”

Whether you’re facing a behavioral issue, confidence dip, training block, or simply want clarity on your next steps, H-E-L-P gives you direct support—quickly and without obligation.

No long commitment.
No monthly billing.
No complicated program structure.
Just clear, supportive, actionable guidance when you need it most.

The end of the year tends to amplify challenges:

Less riding time
Weather interruptions
Schedule chaos
Horse behavior changes
Rising stress + lowered confidence
Pressure to “start the new year right”

This is often when riders feel most alone in their struggles.

But you don’t need to push through it solo.

H-E-L-P lets you tap into quick, expert support exactly when something pops up, without having to commit to a long-term coaching relationship. It’s a tool you can use once, occasionally, or as needed while navigating the season.

What You Get With H-E-L-P

Every H-E-L-P session is built to be:

✔ Short & efficient

Focused sessions that deliver clarity without requiring hours of your time.

✔ Flexible

Use it when you need it. Skip it when you don’t.

✔ No long-term commitment

Perfect for riders who just need targeted guidance or a quick problem-solving session.

✔ Completely remote

No hauling horses, rearranging schedules, or dealing with winter footing.

✔ Personalized to your situation

Your horse, your goals, your challenge—no cookie-cutter advice.

Alternative Horsemanship™ Remote Horse Coach H.E.L.P. Coaching Program

Holiday Special: Give Yourself (or a Friend) the Gift of Support

This season is all about care—so why not extend some of that care to yourself and your partnership with your horse?

H-E-L-P is a perfect holiday boost:

For seasonal horse time interruptions
For owners dealing with sudden changes in equine behavior or training issues
For anyone entering the new year wanting clarity and direction
For gift-givers looking for something meaningful and practical

Sometimes the most valuable gift is simply help—the right help, at the right moment.

Ready to Start?

If you’re craving clarity, encouragement, or a step forward—without commitments or pressure—H-E-L-P is ready when you are.

👉 Visit RemoteHorseCoach.com/H-E-L-P to reserve your session.

Step into the new year with confidence, support, and a clear plan for you and your horse. You deserve that—and your horse will thank you for it, too.

Horse Help: Understanding before Expectations with Alternative Horsemanship™

“Understanding Before Expectations”

Have you ever driven a vehicle that suddenly started drifting, pulling, or moving in a way you didn’t want?

If that happened, would you stop the car, get out, and try to physically force the wheels into the direction you wanted them to go?

Of course not.
You’d start by troubleshooting:

What is the condition of the tires?
Is there an issue with the axles or brakes?
Are the fluids low?
Is the steering column misaligned?

Even if you didn’t understand the mechanics yourself, you would look for or seek guidance to find the root cause of the problem.

Why don’t we do the same with our horses?

In traditional training, when a horse shows unwanted behavior, the common response is:

Add more equipment
Use harsher aids
Try to force compliance
Speed up the training
Push/drive/chase the horse through his resistance

But all that does is magnify the holes—
in the horse’s education
and in reflect a lack of human understanding.

When we mask symptoms instead of addressing root causes, unwanted behaviors don’t disappear…
they simply morph into something else.
Balking becomes bolting.
Tension becomes spooking.
Resistance becomes shutdown.
And owners are left wondering what the horse will do next.

Alternative Horsemanship™ is not about controlling the horse.
It’s about understanding the horse—
their communication, mental state, and natural responses.

Instead of reacting to problems,
we learn to see the early subtle signs of worry, anticipation, or defensiveness.
We teach the skills to learn how to recognize and address the root cause before it becomes a unreasonable or potentially dangerous behavior.

This approach focuses on building a foundation through:
✔ Clear communication
✔ Observing the horse’s communication
✔ Understanding how to influence the horse's mind to create changes in equine behavior or natural instincts
✔ Awareness of your own mindset, emotions, and habits
✔ Interactions that create a safe space for learning to build trust—rather than demanding fearful compliance or forced submission

Whether you realize it or not,
you are always teaching your horse.
Your energy, timing, clarity, and intention is reflected in the horse's responses.

If you’re tired of:

Fixing the same problems over and over
Hoping for “good days”
Wondering what your horse will do next
Feeling like training is a guessing game

Then it’s time to build a foundation based on understanding rather than reacting.

Because the quality of your horsemanship isn’t measured by:
❌ fancy equipment
❌ how quickly you get results
❌ what someone else can make your horse do

It’s reflected in:
✔ Intention
✔ Commitment
✔ Adaptability
✔ Clarity
✔ And your willingness to help the horse in front of you

Alternative Horsemanship™ branched into becoming The Remote Horse Coach to help you virtually learn how to create a relationship that’s not dictated by fear, dominance, or performance pressure—
but by communication, confidence, and calmness.

If you're ready to replace hope with understanding,
reactiveness with clarity,
and frustration with confidence—
learn how Alternative Horsemanship™ the Remote Horse Coach can help you on horse journey.

Let’s begin building a partnership founded on awareness, curiosity, and mutual respect.

Visit the Individual Virtual Horse Coaching or the Horse Learning Video Catalog

December Alternative Horsemanship™ Livestreams

Check out the December Alternative Horsemanship™ the Remote Horse Coach Livestreams

Learning Horse Skills- Raising Self-Awareness

Your thoughts influence your Behavior, Communication, and Interactions with the horse.

How one describes the horse's behavior reflects a lot more about the person, than what is actually happening with the equine.

Check out these Horse Learning Mindset Webinars on the Remote Horse Coach video catalog.

Creating a Safe Space for Your Horse to Learn In

When we think about building a partnership with a horse, one of the most powerful things we can offer him is a safe, emotionally neutral space for learning. I find this crucial foundational aspect of “horse training” is overlooked by both professional and amateur equine enthusiasts.

These signs often show up when a horse is unsure, anticipating, fixating, or doesn’t fully understand what’s being asked. The earlier you can recognize the subtle behaviors, the sooner you can address them, which helps to diffuse or prevent unwanted future dramatic responses. As I try to gently remind folks, the horse is always communicating, it is a matter of if the human is listening.

1.) Tight or Braced Body Language

What it may look like:

Stiff neck
Tight jaw
Rigid back
Braced knees and hocks
Inconsistent breathing
Little or infrequent blinking or “shut down” expression
Little to no ear movement

What it means:
The horse’s physical behavior reflects his mental and emotional state. When there is tense or braced posturing, the horse’s mind in not “with” his body. So, if you are trying to “ask” something of him, he will give you little to no response- usually followed by an explosive reaction if the human keeps adding pressure as the horse is “ignoring” (he isn’t) them.

Now what:
Take one step back- literally. Practice visually scanning the whole horse. What do you see? What IS he doing (one section of the body at a time,) and what can you communicate that creates a, “Not that, but how about this?” specific, redirecting of his thoughts and addressing the ROOT of the brace… Example: Many horses are “heavy” in their jaw, neck, and shoulders, without people realizing the resistance starts in the horse’s locked hocks- the outcome is the heaviness in his front end.

2.) Avoiding Your Request

What it may look like:

Leaning on the lead rope or rein
Surging forward, short/chaotic steps
Pushing against hand, leg, or seat aids
Rocking back before stepping forward
Starting forward steps by drifting the hindquarters
Looking opposite from where the horse is moving

What it means:
Their defensive responses reflect holes in the communication and unaddressed concerns in the equine. It isn’t about “obedience”- but instead, one needs to break down how they communicate something (i.e. look, step, change energy, halt, etc.) and then assess in real time how the horse responds to the cue. Nine out of 10 horses I meet are defensive toward spatial and physical pressure used to communicate on a daily basis. Just because a horse is “trained,” or is older, or has done something “many times” does not mean he is okay with it.

Instructional tip:
Break your request into smaller steps. Learn to recognize the horse’s default patterns when mentally fleeing and physically resistant. Practice improving the small segments before putting them together in a larger request. If you have “options” in how you can influence the horse’s mind and movement- you can use similar communication in a variety of scenarios – which is why I say leading, going through a gate, lining up for the mounting block, and trailer loading are all the SAME – they use the same “ingredients” to create different outcomes.

3.) Reactive When the Routine Changes

What it looks like:

Tension when you change a pattern of interaction (catching, grooming, groundwork, where you mount/dismount, etc.)
Increased energy
Fixation
Calling out to nearby horses
Emotional “spillover” when asked something new

What it means:
Humans have justified creating patterns in horse interactions for as a manner of convenience to the person. It can allow for things to be “fine” because of the repetitiveness. The reality is, the more patterned the horse becomes- the less adaptable for any change, whether it be someone different handling/riding, unfamiliar scenarios, unexpected things moving (i.e. the blanket suddenly hanging on the arena wall,) and many “small” changes can trigger the totally compliant horse to become highly defensive and dramatic. When the pattern changes, defensiveness appears because they have not learned the skills to adapt which triggers fearful behavior.

Observational tip:
How, what, why, where, when do you do ANTHING with the horse… starting even when you halter- do you ever change things up? What happens if you do something minor, such as head out to the stall/pasture with the halter, and don’t catch the horse?

Perspective:

The horse is doing the best he can with the information you’ve given him. If the equine is easily triggered by any sort of change- there are holes in his education- despite him complying in the routines you’ve created. The kindest thing you can do is educate the horse to be adaptable- this is literally a life saving skill for whatever he encounters in the future- people, scenarios, different owners, etc.

4.) Defensive Around Other Horses

What it can like:

Ear pinning
Biting at the Air
Head shaking
Stomping
Kicking at the air
Teeth Grinding
Charging
Tail Swishing
Pushing at/walking into the handler
Fixating on another horse’s movement
Being hyperalert

What it means:
This is often rooted in individual and herd insecurity. Aggressive behavior is a sign of defensiveness. The most socially dysfunctional horses tend to be aggressive. Keep in mind many humans created herds are NOT balanced nor are they calm. Despite perhaps acres of space, it does not mean a horse will automatically thrive in a herd. A variety of factors influence how the horse functions in the herd, which affects his behavior when handled or ridden near other horses.

Awareness tip:
Feed routines/locations, diet imbalances, sleep deprivation, human interactions, pain/physio issues, previous training, all influence how a horse functions in a herd, as well as the degree of “functionality” of the other herd members.

Observe:

Every aspect of the aforementioned influences another, there isn’t just “one” solution. In all the socially dysfunctional horses that have arrived over the years, I consistently see changes in the herd dynamics as their re-education or rehabilitation evolves. Most horses are on a diet of convenience vs one that is appropriate for the individual equine. Why are you feeding what you are? Do you ever see the horse sleeping or indications on his coat that he has slept? What behaviors do you see at feeding times- is the horse in a reactive state, how does he chew, is there chaos in the herd?

Experiment:

As you start to make small changes, it will take a little time for adapting- don’t expect sudden improvements immediately.