Helping the Horse with Worried Eyes

Question:

"Hi Samantha,

The other day you talked about stress showing around the horse's eyes.

I recently bought & watched your "Reading the Horse" series, and it helped me get better at seeing more subtle signs of tension sooner. It's really helpful. Thank you for making those videos available!

This is my boy Ernie. He's a Belgian. He is a wonderful sweet friendly guy in his early teens.

He's a PMU foal from Canada, and we got him when he was 2. His job is to be a pet and ride just for fun. He has 2 acres to wander about and he has 3 horse friends with him.

He seems like he really wants to please. And he worries. The pic of his worried face is an extreme example of his "worried eyebrows". I took it right as something that bothered him happened nearby.

My concern is that he looks worried quite often. In your videos, you talked about the type of horse that will keep his emotions in until suddenly he can't. He has never reached that point, and I would like to support him better so he will not reach the point of being overwhelmed.

What should I be doing to support him and help him build confidence? I try to be gently clear and consistent in everything I ask of him, but I'm sure I can get better. I want him to feel confident and enjoy his life."

Answer:

I like to keep things really, really simple. My approach is the body is a reflection of the horse's mind and emotions. So if there are a continual "peak" or worry lines on the horse's face (which also can appear in the muzzle area,) then whatever tasks have been presented are causing concern or a degree of defensiveness in the horse.

Many times the human will present a task thinking they are clear, but there is often ongoing, gray-area communication with little to no "check-in" of the horse's feedback during the interaction.

The unintentional lack of follow through afterward, or taking time to assess if there is physical tightness, inconsistent breathing in the horse, braced movements, or an overall "contained" look in his posture, etc.

When the horse is not mentally anticipative or defensive, irrelevant of his physical condition, different parts of him will be "squishy" when he isn't worried. Such as the underside of his neck that connects from his chest to his jaw, or if you pat him on the shoulder there will not be rigidity in the muscle, and if you watch his barrel near the stifle area, it will rise and fall consistently with soft breathing rather than looking like an overstretched, inflated balloon. 

Helping the horse learn to drain habitual, tension-filled responses is similar to trying to break the habit of someone biting their fingernails. It takes a LOT of reminders as it often a conditioned "triggered" response, but it is a symptom of emotional triggers that creates the behavior. Without the source causing the issue, the behavior continues or morphs into another unwanted response.

Think of each thing you present as having a beginning, middle, and end. The "end" isn't just the end of the task or what you're asking of the horse, but the time you take to check-in and assess his emotions after you have asked something of him. Then if you see the inflated "balloon" or heaviness, you'll need to help the horse learn to let it go. Instead, people tend to leave the horse in this state as it can often look "quiet," despite being full of tension.

This is where assessing the initial foundation of how we communicate matters. If the horse is defensive towards physical pressure, such as a lead rope, it is no longer a "tool" to help them. So first we need to make sure that we can ask them to be mentally directable, then to follow and soften to the pressure of the lead rope, with our standard being to a slight increase or decrease of finger energy getting a change in the horse. (EX See yesterday's "learning how to Learn" video.)

As a side note, there are many horses that will never put pressure on the lead rope and are "light" in their responses, but they are NOT soft when you look at and touch their body. We want soft, balanced horses.

If the horse is rigid, we need to help him learn to drain is concern and defensiveness. His starting posture will be similar to a board, so we need to "break down" his ability to soften and move each body section (his head, neck, shoulder, front legs, rib cage and then hindquarters- one leg at a time,) to help him drain the stiffness which is him holding in his emotions, and help him find a softer spot mentally, where he experiences the draining of tension and then he breathes, licks, chews, yawns, passes gas, or even manure. 

But many times as folks attempt to help drain tension, and ask the horse to move one body part, the entire horse reacts. If the horse has no understanding as to moving each body part independently, then the human has little ability to influence a change. If it hasn't been addressed, then any attempt of helping the horse let go of the rigidity seems to only add more stress an make matters worse, rather than help. 

So the handler needs to stay present as the horse tries his options, such as leaking sideways or drifting backward to avoid following or softening to the pressure of the rope. They'll also try to push forward and physically move the human's hand out of the way, or they'll dive their head to the ground or way up high to avoid making a change. Each of the horse's "counteroffers" needs to be addressed until he is able to let go of what he is trying and finally addresses what the person is presenting in moving each body part separately. It is then that you see the horse really start to mentally process. (EX full version of yesterday's video on Alternative Horsemanship YouTube channel.)

As this occurs there will be a softening, and physical release of tension in the horse. This is the time you want to stand, hang out or "wallow" in his processing. Too many folks rush their horse through the "new" place of being soft. Encourage him to wallow there. And don't be critical when initially it doesn't last long and he resorts to his old patterns. It takes a while to undo past habitual responses. 

Learning to "stay" mentally present with your horse to "hear" each thing he is trying, address it, and follow-through until he lets it go, is what allows him to make a long term change in the behavior and build his trust and confidence. Many folks address the horse's initial response and then move on asking more of the horse, without checking in to actually assess if the horse has totally let go of his concern.

If he hasn't, then each thing presented that follows, will only continue to increase his worry, hence the perpetual worry lines.

This will take some time in experimenting in assessing the interaction between the two of you. 

Notice where you're trying to "do it" for the horse, rather than helping him work through the worry. The more you are able to help redirect the horse's thought, drain his tension, and help him find a softer place mentally, the less dramatic is initially tight responses will be, and the faster he'll offer to check-in with you for support. 

The initial Conversations might take "longer" for you both work through, but later it'll evolve in a few seconds that will almost be imperceivable to someone else watching.