When the Horse Training Quits Working

 

What happens when the way in which we’re doing something with the horse quits working?

Maybe our current approach has been successful with previous horses. Maybe we have decades of horse handling experience and become stumped. Maybe we enrolled in a course, class, or clinic and previously saw immediate changes, tried to replicate it without the coach, and had it all fall apart.

Irrelevant of the individual scenario or case, in general, it creates an uneasiness, doubt, and often emotional triggers in the human when “it” quits or is no longer working.

Things often get uncomfortable, people can feel limited as to “who” they can confide their self-doubt in, and as one begins to question everything they have ever done with horses, it can create a “shut down” response in humans… leaving the horse increasingly abandoned, communication wise, during even the most basic daily interactions. This then “adds” to the growing unwanted scenarios as the equine begins to take over (to protect himself, even if in a dysfunctional manner,) and adds to the person’s anticipation, concern, and defensive behaviors, which adds to the horse’s lack of trust and resistance.

One can see how this quickly escalates. It happens globally, ALL the time… and yet no one wants to talk about it. To do so, would show the honesty of doubt, and would force one to face re-assessing their current mindset, perspective, interpretation, and value system…

In my experience, most people will do everything they can to resist “going there,” until ALL other manners of interactions have been attempted (i.e. more force, aggressiveness, sending the horse away, avoidance by turning the horse out for months at a time with minimal contact, etc.)

At some point, usually when a person becomes fearful enough or HAS to get something done with the horse, do they begin to set their ego aside, replacing it with humility, and the availability to learn without assumption, judgement, or critique.

As you know, I often travel the world. As I do, I encounter non horse folks who ask about my work. Many are intrigued, and usually sum it up to the likes of, “So you’re a horse and human therapist?”

Well… officially no. But I have unwittingly become a behaviorist, and to recognize the patterns, coping, defaults, and most importantly - triggers, one must recognize how the mind and emotions influence the behavior- whether in the human or equine.

This is why many times people will have “light bulb” moments in a session, where they abruptly stop and say something like, “I have the same problems with my spouse, kids, dog, etc… as I do with my horse. I’m the common denominator.”

These epiphanies can be brutal on one’s self-esteem if the world they have created has been built upon the outward facade of “keeping it all together.” Which is exactly what most of western society focuses on- as long as the “outside” looks “fine”- ignore everything else…

The reality is, things fall apart… Whether due to time, evolving, self-growth, life experiences, many initial beliefs, views, and priorities change.

It is no different in the journey with our horses. I encourage people to embrace the falling apart- it signals change. Our society creates an illusion that complacency is a positive thing… that it creates stability. I strongly disagree. What I see in the patterns of familiarity with the horse, is a decreasing of human awareness, availability, and sensitivity toward reasonable, subtle feedback expressed by the equine.

“I don’t have the energy to learn…” Please be aware of how much you may be (unintentionally) teaching the horse to have unwanted responses, because your lack of relevant communication IS teaching the horse about interactions with you. It can teach him to be anticipative, defensive, imposing, avoidant, etc. all for the sake of not feeling that a moment is “that big of a deal.”

I cannot emphasize how quickly time and again I see changes in horses as their owner become present, emotionally neutral (i.e. not seeking to find one’s value based on the “success” of a session with the horse,) and available to think, search, and try, just as we ask the horse to do. So many folks will observe seeing a completely new side of their horse, or an increased willingness to try, even if they are still working on learning the skills to improve communication.

Intention is everything- and the horse reads the human far earlier (often before a person might think the equine is even aware of their presence,) than most people realize.

The more intentionally present and available, the more opportunity for thinking, searching, experimenting, and observation, and real-time learning the human will have. It helps one develop, improve, and adapt horse skills relevant to the individual animal. This helps build specific, segmented pieces in the communication, to develop a foundation sustainable for building long-term quality interactions boosting the horse and human's trust in one another.