Chasing the Horse Dream

 Chasing the Horse Dream

I meet horse people wherever I go in the world, whether or not I’m traveling for work or by random happenstance. More often than not, I hear stories of how they chose to leave the mainstream rhetoric/perceptions of working/thinking/interacting with horses to explore and develop their individual quality long-term equine relationship.
I find their stories fascinating and winding horse learning journeys interesting. Time and again, there is a blatant connection between one’s views, morals, ethics, how they perceive the horse, and the degree of value they assign in acknowledging what the horse is experiencing.

I had just returned from one such encounter, when this morning I came across several social media posts with captions, “I always dreamed of having this x breed horse, and now I have one...” with the new owner proudly sharing a photo of themself and their horse. Inevitably, I subconsciously recoil as I look at a picture of an emotionally ecstatic human standing obliviously next to a tension-filled, defensive, “pretty” horse.

When I see these posts, I have a “flash forward” slideshow of snippets from the hundreds upon hundreds of emails or calls I’ve had from folks over the years, reaching out after they “finally” got their dream horse- pleading for help with all the problems they were now having to “deal with.” Then I think of the many, and often emotionally brutal moments (for the human) to reach a point of honesty (usually after they were seriously injured) to face the reality of their scenario. I don’t write this as a pessimist- but as a realistic perspective from someone who is called to “fix” countless horse problems, after everything has gone wrong...

This post isn’t about judging people for not knowing what they don’t know- i.e. unable to understand horse behavior in a manner that would allow them to see the black and white communication displayed in front of them- but rather to highlight the correlation between how the “idea of something” (which convolutes, detracts, limits, delays, and increases the risk factor)- limits open-minded learning in the human...

Example:
Many owners perceive aspects A, B, C are “fine” with the horse, and voice they just want to learn about aspect G... What they don’t understand nor connect is that if their interpretation of what was “fine” with A, B, C were true, they wouldn’t suddenly be having massive issues/resistance/dangerous/problem behaviors when working on aspect G. The human’s unwillingness to learn and refine the quality of their foundational communication skills, directly influences the horse's increasing struggle the more that is asked of him.

But people are good at imagining/fixating on idealistic experiences, creating human-centric stories, setting unrealistic horse goals, while lacking the equine-related skills to help the horse achieve them without fear, and frequently pair the aforementioned with a never-ending list of “I want” agendas.

The horse is operating on minute-by-minute survival instinct- doing the best he can, based on what his previous human experiences have taught him.

The more a person is self-involved in their story or agenda, the less available, considerate, or adaptable they are to see what the horse is experiencing or acknowledge his real-time communication, (without applying a human emotional filter.)

The ongoing, deeply ingrained human resistance to the time commitment to address the horse's needs, to build trust and try, is the number one contributor to vicious cycles of unwanted equine interactions.

The masses have learned the lingo of how to say they do things nicely, how to sound like they are empathetic for the horse, they may be quick to buy the course or equipment, sign up for the clinic, frequently preach of their commitment to developing trust- but the reality of in-person, boots on the ground, hands-on daily learning in real life equine interactions, may reflect otherwise.

Irrelevant of whether someone is good-intentioned or how they “explain” what is/has happened with the horse, observing the equine’s behavior will always reflect honestly what has actually been occurring. And for most folks, the lack of instantaneous results, the intentionally designated energy or mental capacity needed to have the self-accountability to first become aware of one's thoughts and emotions, and then recognize how it affects their behaviors and both the mechanics and quality of their communication- before ever criticizing or judging the horse's responses, is just simply too much.

#alternativehorsemanship #RemoteHorseCoach