The day my horsemanship changed- Lightness vs Softness

Lightness versus softness... I still remember the day that my sense of "accomplishment" with a particularly troubled horse became completely shattered, and it changed my world and horsemanship skills for the better.

This horse had already forced me to get as creative as possible, become open minded, refine my sensitivity, adapt how and what I was presenting, and we were making progress from his initially over the top, amazing, out-of-control athleticism he would display when he was having a problem.

I had sought out help of a long respected cowboy whose words unfortunately never did match his physical abilities with horses, and so I came to him to watch and learn.

His eyes lit up when he saw this bothered horse, not out of a challenge, but out of the opportunity to help a very bothered equine. I had tried to offer as much honesty in my interpretation as to what I had presented to the horse, how I had done so, etc. But my words fell on deaf ears, because the horse was already telling him the real story that mattered, what the horse needed in that moment, irrelevant of my efforts.

What he saw, as he gently took a hold of the lead rope just using his thumb and index finger, was something I couldn't see at the time. My horse had been standing totally still, "quiet." The lead rope had been dangling and the horse had his focus on us. As the horseman stood in a relaxed pasture, and began closing his remaining fingers around the rope, with his hand just under the horse's jaw, the horse's head shot straight up in the air and he went flying backwards as if he had been "hit" by something.

I was totally shocked. There was no pull, directing, or "asking" of anything by the cowboy. Instead all he had done was created a slight feel, or pressure, on the rope and the horse had given a pretty loud and clear response as to how he felt about pressure.

So for all the light circles the horse could make around me all the while keeping slack in the rope, for as "with me" as he was when he was loose seeming to follow willingly, when I presented things with a direct physical pressure- he'd learned how to brace his entire body- WHILE- keeping slack in the rope, but he was never mentally or physically soft.

This lack of softness would become apparent when I would ask more of him, which would trigger the brace that would quickly lead to an explosion- because really, it had been in there the whole time. There had been defensiveness in his brain and rigidity in his body, even though most of the time he wasn't ever physically pulling on the rope or the rein.

One of the biggest challenges I have nowadays is teaching people how to decipher the difference between an obediently but defensive "light" feeling horse and a truly mentally and physically soft one.