Evolving journey of Horsemanship

Some days everything may go as planned and then there are days where nothing seems to be able to be accomplished. My personality is to "will" things to happen, but it has taken a lot of years and intention to realize that wasn't going to work when it came to the horses.

A personal challenge was learning how early I could recognize within ME if there was a horse that was close to the imaginary line of becoming curious and interested in life, versus him mentally bailing and continuing to be defensive towards the human, and to not try to "make" him commit to a change.


For me, somehow the words "don't take it personal" came to mind years ago and it was like my entire perspective or filter in how I interpreted what I was seeing and experiencing with the horse completely flipped. It wasn't about me anymore, or what the horse would do for me, or a reflection of my ability.

People tend to ask, "How do I not take it personal if it just my horse and I here?" So let me clarify.

Unless you are one of the few folks who have had your horse(s) from the time it was born, you have not been part of the horse's education, experiences, etc. You don't really know how, when or why things were done with your horse or if there was quality to some, all or none of his education. You don't know if there was a seemingly non-traumatic event for other horses but that the way your horse experienced it created long term fear or issues.

You only know who the horse is that is standing in front of you today. And if on this day he is "telling" you that he is unsure, shut down, avoiding, tolerating, etc. whatever you are asking of him, I want you to view this as an opportunity for a positive outcome.

They, whoever "they" are, say that you don't get do-overs in life. I actually find when it comes to the horse, because of their forgiving nature, you do. I've mentioned on numerous occasions I'm always amazed how a majority of horses can recover from being shut down, trauma, fear and stress if offered clear, specific support and communication from the human.

So you may not know the exact original cause of your horse's current unwanted behavior, but if instead of taking is as a personal rejection, judgement, or human associated emotion being projected by the horse, and instead you showed empathy and interest in helping the horse learn how to reasonably work through the moment, those unwanted behaviors will decrease.

The thought for today's post came as I was doing catch up lessons this past weekend and several folks commented on how when I handle their horse there is a different outcome than when they do.

First I remind them they cannot compare my current experience with theirs; that would be like me having played sports as a child for fun, and then wondered why I'm not on the professional sports team as an adult.

Second, most folks aren't even aware of the nuances and minor moments with their horse, and they may have misunderstood, not recognized or know how to deal with them or how they relate to the "big" events.

Third, just because you are now aware of what you once weren't, beating yourself up mentally today will help neither you nor your horse. The best thing you can do is focus on sharpening your new "tools" and skill sets so that you can more effectively communicate with the horse.

Fourth allow room in your mind for "trial and error." Your abilities, timing, coordination, strengths are going to be different from everyone else. So there'll need to be room for you to experiment with asking, observing, processing the feedback your horse has offered and learning from it. This knowledge "tells" you what works and what doesn't.

And this is where I want to mention something. A lot of times folks don't ask outright, but somehow imply, that I've had some special access to some sort of information or magic book or instruction that allowed me to have successes in helping horses. The truth is, it has taken 30 years of riding. It has taken falls, bones breaking, and other physical injuries. It took handling and riding hundreds of horses, hundreds of lessons, hundreds of hours of sitting on the fence and just watching. It took many emotional highs and lows. And it took years and years of experimenting on my own. And my journey is still not over, nor will it ever be. There is always room to grow.

So remember wherever you and horse currently are "at," is just fine. There are always opportunities to improve, grow and evolve with your horse. Be happy to be on your own path and be sure to enjoy the journey.