Struggles on the Horsemanship Journey Part 1 by Alternative Horsemanship

Group member statement:

"It can be isolating...and I sometimes feel like an island. I struggle at times with feeling frozen in place, being afraid that I am not “enough” or don’t know enough to move forward with my geldings for fear of making mistakes and backsliding in their progress, or more importantly, breaking the trust I have been building. I am concerned that I may lack clarity at times with them because I get into that frozen space. I feel like we make progress…and then I start to question myself constantly. It’s hard not having a coach I can go to with questions and concerns. "

Many people I work with worldwide experience what the above commenter's sentiments are. Various triggers can contribute to a person becoming "frozen" or experiencing self-doubt during a new chapter in their horsemanship journey. Today's post is to help pinpoint and recognize common triggers. A second post later in the week will offer insight into addressing them.

I believe most people who have become frustrated, disenchanted, or disheartened with their previous horse training approach tend to come away from horse-related teachings presented in a black-and-white manner. This methodology allows students to feel empowered and to easily follow specified steps in how to work with the horse. Leaving a rigid teaching format can create a lot of self-doubt if there seems to be no clear path in working towards horse goals.

Many of the popular "sales pitches" in the horse training world are based on foundational statements of critique, have-tos, and demands. Stepping away from this creates cracks in what one's horse training is based on. It affects one's psyche, because despite intentions to do better by the horse, old thoughts often reappear during attempts to experiment with interacting with the horse in a new manner. It creates mental distraction (the frozen moment,) leaving the person disconnected during the equine interaction. Folks often vocalize they had no idea how hard it is to mentally shift away from the old mindset despite their good intentions.

Many teaching methods focus on associating "value" and accomplishing a pre-determined goal, that rarely allows for flexibility or acknowledgment of what the horse is experiencing. The focus is typically on how quickly the human can impose compliance. If no longer using this ideology, it can leave one unclear (the frozen moment) as to how long something should take with the horse or see the "value" something may have to the horse. If there are holes in human education it leads to a lack of perspective in understanding the equine, despite years of lessons, clinics, riding, etc.

A difficult mental concept and emotional challenge in stepping away from how one has done things in the past is to recognize how much one may have "missed" (i.e. not been taught) in the actual understanding and acknowledgment of the horse, his behavior, how his mind and emotions influence his movement, and how to be adaptable in real-time based on the equine's feedback. When unsure as to why the horse is behaving in a new manner- people tend to freeze.

Unintentionally using "old standards" during a "new" way of doing things can lead to a disconnect in having clarity as to how, what, when, and why creating jumping from point A to point F. If one has never learned the horse skills to help the equine think, search, and try, to build his clarity and confidence, and how one segment of interaction influences the next, the animal will be unclear and may offer delayed, resistant, or unwanted behavior, leading to the human doubt and the "frozen" moment.

The horse does not know that however long things were done, in a certain way during human interactions, they are now suddenly changing. Just as "old ways" of interaction may be ingrained in the human, so too can they be in the horse. Many people do not realize that the horse who has had conditioned responses reinforced for months or years may never have been okay with anything that he has been asked to do, despite his physical compliance. Just because the human has "new" thoughts on how to interact in a more supportive manner, the equine may lack the ability to adapt as he has never previously been allowed or encouraged to do so.

This leads to recognizing that there needs to be a decompression period to offer the horse not only a completely clean slate- with no assumptions of what he can or should do, or what he "already knows," but also a "purging" period where he is allowed to safely express everything that has been contained for so long. This can be very hard for owners to see (creating the frozen moment,) as they realize how much they have done in the past to have contributed to current defensive equine behaviors.

"You don't know what you don't know," as a client once said. Equine enthusiasts can become overwhelmed by how much time, effort, and energy they have previously invested in their equine partnership, only to come to the realization that their way of working with the horse has had no value, or been even detrimental, to the equine.

The decompression time for the human can create guilt, questions, and little self-worth that can inhibit one's ability to think, search, and try during real-time horse interactions. I'll have folks start to assess the "dialog" in their head- learning to replace reactive, anticipative thoughts with pro-active, positive alternatives. (It is far harder to get the human mind to let go of the past, than the horse's mind.)

I strongly suggest playing out past horse scenarios in one's mind, while observing one's thoughts and emotions. What horse behaviors trigger you to "freeze?" Many people do not realize their inability to be mentally present and emotionally neutral for the horse stems from sabotaging thoughts. It takes intention and practice to change the deeply ingrained internal dialog.

Stay tuned for the next post that will offer tips and insight into addressing many of the triggers mentioned in this post.