Develop the “Box”
A concept I developed years ago was the idea of “The Box,” (use the search bar in the group to read past posts where I describe it in depth) a mental or spatial idea (rather than a physical imagined area) for the horse and/or the human to be in to create clear communication.
- The Box gives you an intentional boundary to assess the horse’s feedback in real time.
- It gives you time to recognize tension or defensiveness (in his poll, jaw, neck, shoulder, knees, ribcage, hocks) and to recognize if you must move your feet to get changes in the horse- i.e. your communication is not effective.
- By working in a smaller area, you decrease drifting/fleeing/chaotic movement, creating an opportunity to see where the breakdown in communication is (i.e. what triggers the horse.)
- As you specifically and intentionally address each aspect of the horse’s counteroffers in the Box, it becomes a safe place for each of you to pause and check in with the other- versus it feeling like containment.
Mentally Present and Emotionally Neutral
I joke that you can love your horse, but after the session. Emotional neutrality is a recurring theme in my teachings. A lot of people do not realize how chaotic their emotions are (even if outwardly calm) and how much they are triggered if the horse doesn’t respond to them as anticipated/hoped/wanted.
It's tempting to push/drive/increase pressure to accomplish a task, for the sake of wanting to feel “successful” or your emotional fulfillment. If you're mentally “ahead,” during the interactions, you are not present to focus on the horse’s feedback and cannot offer adaptable communication. This greatly contributes to unintentionally creating defensiveness in the horse.
What is your emotional “energy” in general- when you’re away from the horse? Does this change as you’re working with the horse? How do your behaviors change as your emotions vary?
Why Safe Space Matters
Slowing down, honestly assessing the quality of how, what, and why you do things reduces the risk of your horse becoming defensive or shutting down when learning. It builds a foundation of trust, because your horse learns that you will acknowledge his behavior- without critique- and help him “find” a response that allows him to be calm and present. It also encourages the horse to think through scenarios, not just comply or tolerate (watch the November 8th Livestream Replay on The Remote Horse Coach video catalog for more on this) which is what helps the horse be mentally available and physically willing.

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Sam