Horse Learning without Guarantees

 The only consistent thing I have found to be true is humans ARE seeking connection.

Repeatedly, social media videos that “do best” show the horse that is willing to interact with people, offering an emotional connection. The promise gives viewers hope, triggering interaction… A great motivator for change, or to “activate” people- whether to react, sign up, or buy into a belief system- is to engage the human emotion of hope.

It is why millions of people teared up every time they saw the late-night 2000s American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals televised ad campaign featuring Sarah McLauchlan’s emotional, raw song “Angel” playing in the background. Giving hope- having hope- triggered action.

I was reminded of this once again as Oracle has just bought TikTok. During the reprogramming of the algorithm, it is resharing old videos of mine, which were “successful” because they struck an emotional chord in many.  

Suddenly, thousands of views, likes, and favoriting, just as the videos had received when first shared three or four years ago. Viewers are emotionally “moved” as they watch- the “before and after” changes in the horse- regardless of whether they have equine experience.

In the horse world, the sales pitch is the proverbial carrot on the stick- offering hope of “what can be,” if you follow/buy a horse training theory or approach.

The challenge is for equine enthusiasts to recognize the depth of how one’s emotions of hope can either motivate or sabotage experiences. It influences their willingness to experiment, learning processing, and curiosity, leading to thinking and questioning. On the other hand, hopefulness without skill or understanding can lead to a vicious cycle of negative internal dialogue, such as “I am not enough, I can’t, I won’t, What if,” etc.

Experiencing emotional motivation to learn, while maintaining the availability to be mentally present and emotionally neutral when with the horse, allows one to adapt and meet him in the moment.

It is far easier said than done and quite challenging for many. It can be quite depressing as one comes to terms with recognizing the amount of chaos, distractions, and emotional dumping they may have previously imposed during their horse sessions.

Countering the normalized hectic state of living in a reactionary state- from overcommitting oneself, overwhelming work demands, daily life stresses, and ongoing fatigue, all wreak havoc on horse time. They can diminish a person’s energy or awareness to see the horse; it limits the value of observation without imposing the deeply ingrained “have tos,” judgment, or critique that dominate Western society’s mentality.

I have a saying that catches many people off guard- “It (the horse experience) is not ABOUT the human… instead, it is an opportunity to learn a common language to work with the equine, in a manner that builds trust and try.”

Despite the relative simplicity of such a statement, it reflects the reality of the behind-the-scenes, unglamorous, unromanticized, seemingly “boring” interactions of “what it takes” to develop awareness and skills. It is an ongoing journey and collection of experiences of practicing refinement during seemingly minor, mundane, segmented, intentional sessions.

The ideal moments- the long-term positive changes in equine partnerships- are not based on a sudden solution, or a standardized interaction. They grow from a place of taking the time it takes to reinforce clear, specific, relevant communication with the horse. They solidify from a person “proving” to the equine during every interaction, that the human will acknowledge and address the horse in a manner that has value to him.

A foundation of willingness and adaptability in the equine is directly based on the human seeing the value in offering a safe space for learning, creating an environment that allows for the horse to “be” mentally present and emotionally calm, and offering him the time to learn to think, search, and try.

I’ll leave you with two final considerations of how one’s emotions can support or sabotage the equine experience:

1. Horse-centric relationships focus on prioritizing acknowledging and learning to work with the horse. This means that one must have empathy and an awareness of what another is experiencing. It is based on having a rational thought process while maintaining an emotional awareness of the equine. It is not about being passive or hopeful, “leaving it up to the equine,” or avoiding things that concern him; instead, it is based on offering proactive, “how can I help the horse” communication.

2. The human’s Emotional Wants – i.e., seeking fulfillment or something gratifying from spending time with the horse, quickly deteriorate any potential development of “we,” replacing it with “me.” This creates aggressive, hurried, patterned, repetitive sessions fixated on containment for compliance, and teaches the horse to be resistant, avoidant, and defensive.

Long-term learning comes from commitment without guarantee- a willingness to have experiences, share a journey, without a promised outcome with the horse. It is a focus on becoming the “best version” of yourself, to better support the horse with a variety of adaptable skills in a multitude of scenarios. It is an appreciation of Learning How to Learn that is so often missed in humans and horses.  Embrace the emotions that support your learning, and let go of those that create the vicious cycle of unrealistic expectations and demands- of yourself and the equine.