Learning New Horse Skills- the Uncomfortable Learning Curve

 Letting Go: Why Learning a New Approach Can Feel So Inconsistent

Learning something new is rarely just about information. More often, it’s about identity, emotion, and safety.

When we’re asked to let go of previous beliefs or methods, the human brain doesn’t experience that as neutral. It perceives earlier experiences as a loss.

Perhaps prior beliefs gave you:
• A sense of competence
• Predictability
• Emotional safety
• Familiarity (“This is how I do things”)

As you experiment with changing things up and incorporating a new approach, it can quietly trigger your emotions, leading to Defensiveness, Self-Doubt, Frustration, Fear of failure, and, for some, Sadness toward the confidence they once thought they had during horse interactions.

These are just some of the reasons the learning curve often becomes inconsistent during the evolution of one’s awareness.

Another aspect is recognizing that, as you learn to understand a new concept, approach, or refine the foundation of understanding and communication with the horse, many times what people think they are initially “clear” about can actually add more confusion as they begin to have horse experiences with a “new” mindset.

One day, you may feel inspired and mentally clear.

The next day, something unexpected may occur, triggering you to revert to old habits.

The old, deeply ingrained pattern responses have nothing to do with believing the effectiveness of the new approach, but reflect your nervous system is trying to regain stability.

I’m not a psychologist, but my understanding of cognitive dissonance is that it is having two conflicting belief systems simultaneously. The brain doesn’t like uncertainty, so it swings between old and new, searching for solid ground.

Inconsistency in your thoughts is part of “letting go of the old” and “experimenting with the new.” Naturally integrating a raised awareness while adapting one’s communication takes time to shift from feeling awkward, overwhelmed, and unsure, to responding without over-analyzing every aspect of what is occurring.

Learning adaptable horse skills happens in layers- not by rote, “we always...”  standardized behaviors. You don’t replace old beliefs overnight. When unexpected or triggering scenarios with the horse occur, people tend to return to the reflexive past responses, even if rationally they know it doesn’t help them or their equine.

Mindset shifts slowly lead to developing new, quality communication, which is reinforced to the human by the horse’s positive responses. The more one experiences a “different” side of their horse. Seeing the “evidence” of consistent desired changes in the equine, the human experiences more emotional calm, leading to increasingly clear thoughts, while building their confidence.

Tips to smooth the learning curve:
• Compassion for yourself during regression
• Permission to feel “awkward” or unsure
• Understanding that confusion often precedes clarity
• Allowing practice without demanding perfection

Growth isn’t linear. There’s no guarantee of how and when things will change.

Experiment.

Let go of unrealistic expectations.

Release self-imposed urgencies.

Assess how your thoughts and emotions influence your behavior.

When learning a new approach feels messy, frustrating, or uneven, you’re not failing.

You’re letting go and rewiring. It takes time, experiences, awareness, and intention.

Remember, the more you can shift your perception of “have to” to “get to,” the more enjoyable the learning journey with your horse can be- even when experiencing the unknown.