When "Powering Through" Quits Working
I had remote coaching students on multiple continents this week- and the general theme was discussing breath... The students' backgrounds were drastically different, as were their ages, and horse experience.
Yet, along their individual paths of raising self- awareness to improve the relationship with their horse, each had come to the conclusion of how much "work" it was to intentionally breathe.
It sounds funny as the most basic instinctive need to survive is to breathe- and somehow, here we are as human beings, rapidly "losing" the connection between breath and our mind, emotions, and body.
Of course, this isn't just a "horse people problem," but it is magnified for those who spend time with, around, or riding the incredibly sensitive animals.
The cliche of "your horse reflects you," is an understatement.
Breath affects the human's mental, emotional, and physical state. It directly influences the quality, specificity, timing, and effectiveness of communication with the horse.
It is not something that can be brushed aside as a, "I'll work on that someday..." if the goal is to evolve the quality of one's relationship with the horse.I've had various students describe trying to re-learn how to "breathe naturally" as:
- *Feeling like their chest was being compressed by boulder
- *The deeper the intentional breath, the more they found themselves gasping for air
- *The more they focused on their breath, they realized the tension in their muscles increased
- *They couldn't "focus" on their breath while doing any other activity
- *They could achieve softer breathing, but then as soon as something distracted them, they'd "lose" the rhythm
I'll be honest, it is very uncomfortable to reach a moment of recognizing how disconnected we have become from our bodies. Once you realize patterns in yourself, even if you don't have the energy to address them now, the awareness is a "burden."
For a lot of years (decades actually,) much of western society's "norms" have wreaked havoc on the human nervous system; unrealistic demands, distractions, expectations, time urgencies, etc. have contributed to deregulated states as the human loses any natural sense of physical awareness they are born with.
From mobility, to breathing, to intention- for many people, what came naturally as a child, dissipates the more "societal influenced" people become as they unintentionally drift away from what was once instinctive responses.
When I first started teaching, I had intentionally titled one of my web pages: "Back to Basics"- people HATED the name. HATED the reference, and I eventually gave in and changed it.
The problem with the name, based on the feedback- was people who'd spent years with horses, didn't want to have insinuated that they needed to "go back" (society's "what have you achieved by now") or that they were still needing to learn "the basics," (society's hurry up, do more, multitask, result drive outcomes need to "prove" the time/money/effort was worth it.)
I specifically created the title because so many people were coming to me with "problem horses," but themselves were missing fundamental basics in understanding, awareness, and skills-and instead were wanting to "fix" things (symptoms,) rather than recognizing or acknowledging that to help the horse, it started with their self-awareness and availability to learn. Including, inconsistent breathing.
Society rewards the mindset of "powering through" or "making something happen," which doesn't work with horses... I mean, it may temporarily appear to get desired results with a certain type/personality of horse, but then one day, "all of a sudden..." it doesn't.
So much presented societally, socially, media wise, etc. is about using literal or figurative strength to force things to occur or comply. This also doesn't work with horses... which is why you are reading posts shared on this site.
So, coming back to the idea of breath... Think of someone who lifts weights at the gym, unintentionally more often than not, they end up holding their breath as they try to engage their muscles. The personal trainers will remind them to breathe, instead, you'll see braced, tight, rigid behavior as they anticipate engaging in the activity.
It is no difference to what I see people do ALL the time with their horses. Even if not literally thinking they are "powering" through something... whether hopeful, passive, avoidant, or trying to be "believable"- they often hold their breath.
So remember... it starts with awareness.
Don't impose self-critique or judgement once you realize what your current "norm" is.
Do see every opportunity to "reset" as retraining your brain and body- which helps in all aspects of daily life, not just your horse time.
Don't expect sudden changes in yourself if you've been doing something unintentionally for decades.
Do only attempt a minute or two at a time (I'm not kidding) of intentionally breathing... initially, you'll be mentally exhausted.
Imagine all the potential positives that could occur if you treat yourself with the same kindness as you'd offer others ...
.jpeg "The Remote Horse Coach Livestream")
-min.png "Alternative Horsemanship December Livestreams")
